6 years. (long one, sorry)

I can't believe it's been 6 years. Can't believe how quickly it went by, how much has changed, how much those last few days are still ingrained in my memory. But, I'm noticing holes in those memories now. I know I'll lose more and more. My computer with all of our photos crashed and is awaiting a very expensive recovery. I have a few I rescued from a website I used to have. I have no idea what happened to the video and there are no other copies floating around any longer that I know of.

It's been a rough week, one very few of my friends really understand... maybe only one really does. Sunday 10/18/09. CHOC walk at Disneyland. Good day with friends, great cause, but all I could think about was 1o/18/03. Also at Disneyland. Aaron and his kiddos came to Disney with me and my family. It was a great day. I loved spending time with him again since I hadn't seen him in a while (I'd moved to Vegas). I loved seeing the kids again. I loved seeing Disneyland through his eyes, the sheer excitement and amazement watching Fantasmic that night. I will forever have that smile in my mind. I will remember our phone conversation the night before we went to Disney. I will always remember what he said. I will forever remember the time we spent, that last hug goodbye when he dropped me off at the airport. I miss his hugs. I remember sitting on the plane and looking out the window when we took off thinking that was the last time I was going to see him. I thought that was such a strange thought. Unfortunately, I was right.

I asked Aaron to come visit me on Sunday. Anything to show me he was there with me. All day went by, and nothing. Until I got ready to leave. I wish I could get the video off my blackberry, but it was too long and can't be emailed :-( I left my friends at the park to take tired me and sleeping baby home. I walked into downtown Disney and there was a guy playing "Tears in heaven" on an acoustic guitar. It stopped me in my tracks. This was a song from Aaron's service. He was there. It was everything I could do to not lose it in Disney.

6 years ago tomorrow... the last time I talked to him. It was a quick conversation, but one I'm glad we had. I will forever regret not calling him for our usual Thursday chat. I'd call when he was on his way to pick up/drop off kiddos. After the week we'd both had, I was exhausted. I decided to go to bed early and to call him the next day. He didn't have a next day. Of all the moments I wish I could redo in life, that's probably at the top of my list. "One more day." That song by Diamond Rio summed it up good. I happened to have it on my CD of songs I made that reminded me of Aaron when I went out for his service. We used it in his service.

Saturday morning will be 6 years since his crash. 6 years since I woke up to that horrible phone call. I can still hear Steph's words like it was yesterday. "I'm sorry sweetie... he didn't make it." I have pictures from the crash site. I don't look at them but I have them. Pictures of the broken trees, the divots in the road, the sidewalk where he was. It still doesn't seem real at times.

Thank you Aaron for everything you gave me. Thank you for the memories. Thank you for helping me get to where I am in life. I miss you every day. I always will. You are my angel. I love you.

New facebook page!!

I'm putting all of my Aerowyn's Castle creations on a new page. Stop by and become a fan!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=764573590&v=feed&story_fbid=168713904312#/pages/Aerowyns-Castle/89405154283?v=wall&ref=mf